What We Hate About Cancer

for changing my life

I will never feel 'normal' again!! This has taken away my career (Nurse), my ability to have more children, I now am menopausal at 29yrs with mega hot flushes and what I hate the most is my inability to run, jump, play and walk how I used to pre cancer with my children.

it's so scary and hard on everyone involved

"Cancer Sucks!"

"It" has control of me.

....the needles!!!!

Everything. The anxiety. The fear. The uncertainty. I hate cancer for taking my mom away from me.

A deadly unwanted, uninvited guest who came to dine and stays until it kills you or is killed instead

A wonderful life interrupted....

Absolutely everything

aches, no breast

After you've had it, you will always have the shadow lingering over you, making you wonder if somewhere in your body, it has taken up residence again.

All it strips away from you.

All of it

All of it!

all the meds I have to take

All the side effects that come with it

all the strangers looking and touching me and fear of cancer comming back

ALL THINGS

all things that it causes

always being tired and the fear of no tomorrow.

always feeling when or if it will come back,

Always on my mind

Amount of time required to master the challenge

annoying side effects

Anxiety, fear, uncertainty

at this early point...knowing and having cancer inside of me

AT THIS TIME THE NOT KNOWING

Bad doctors

Baldness

been very tired and bruised legs all the time

Being a burden on my wife

Being a burden to my family

Being afraid you wont grow old and die with your family

Being aware of dying

Being away from my wife and work

Being away from the most important in the world to me

Being barren.

being in pain so much, having no energy, Not being able to do the things I used to enjoy, having to depend so much on others to help me.

Being nauceous 24/7

Being out of control, loss of my hair

being restricted regarding diet and activities

being scared

Being scared and not knowing what to expect

Being scared of what it will do to my family if something happens to me.

Being sick

Being Sick & in Pain

being sick and tired

Being sick in general :(

Being sick, not knowing what will happen

Being so tired

Being suspicious of what is going on in my own body.

Being tired

Being tired and losing my hair

Being told I have it & have 6 Months to live

Being Weak

being weak and losing all my hard earned muscles

Besides actually having cancer.....the "so sorry" looks when walking around bald.

Besides being a pain in the butt....I hate how it effects my life and the life of those I love.

Besides from it trying to kill me it has also got me in a financial mess.

Besides the fact that it sucks?

Body functions just don't happen like they are supposed to!

Bone marrow biopsies

Bone pain/pressure

Bone Treatments...OUCH!

Bring inside fear which is the hardest to conquer

Can seem to get rid of it

Can't enjoy my wine man! The stress & distress it brings to the ones I love.

Cancer

Cancer can change your life, perspective and attitude forever.

Cancer doesn't care how I feel about it, so being negative isn't my thing.

Cancer has made me afraid of many things

Cancer has stolen my security and I really hate that feeling.

cancer is sumthing,which anyone won't want to experience during there lifez

Cancer it's self! That it takes lives way to soon.

Cancer robs individuals of their God-given right to live.

Cancer survives is what i have most about it.

Cancer took away my ability to decipher between certainy and denial. I hate THAT the most.

changed my life completely

changed my whole world, left me in a wheelchair.

Changing my life as it has....

Chemo

Chemo Brain

Chemo brain, fatigue, nothing seems the same

Chemo is worse than the cancer itself

Chemotherapy

Children having to go through this too.

constant fight

Constantly waiting: for the next scan, the next labs, the next exam, the next results. Waiting never ends.

consumes the mind

Coping with such a dreaded disease, Emotional turbulence

Creeps into every aspect of your life.

Death

Death is inevitable; suffering is not..

Difficulty going to the bathroom; telling my kids. Worrying about how to pay for tx. Seeing all the young people here.

doctors moving too fast to cut, poison

Doctors wanting to give me chemo

Don't get me started

Dr. appts

Duh. Really?

early appointments, fatigue, short of breath

Energy Zapper

Even if you survive, it's still a life sentence!

Even when it's gone... We're left wondering 'Is It REALLY GONE?'

Eventual outcome

Every fucking thing, especially during my montly cycle

Everybody looks at me like I am dying

Everyithing.

Everything

EVERYTHING !!!

Everything - Having to Face Mortality

EVERYTHING ... and that it exists!

everything about it

Everything but especially the mental and emotional impact to my family.

Everything but the pain that produces character

Everything I'm Not A Good Sick Person

everything really

Everything!

everything! >:(

Everything! I hate the way effects your family & friends. Just watching the worried look in their eyes.

Everything! The cancer, the treatments, but, they are life saving!!

Everything!!

EVERYTHING!!!

everything!!!!!

everything, but I did get some good ouuta the bad

EVERYTHING, NOTHING TO LIKE

Everything, what good will ever come from it. It kills people, tears familys apart but most of all it changes the person you love. They used to smile all day, laugh with you, cry with you, cuddle you but this takes everything all their strength away so they cant have fun with you how they did, cant laugh with you because there isnt much to laugh about, and cant cuddle you how they did because the cuddles arnt the same as before,

everything.

Everything. Cancer Sucks

everything..

Everything... But mostly the unknown

Everything......

Everything.....I'm a basket case as is she

Everything; watching my son trying to be stoic; perhaps missing many of my son's milestones and the terrible pain I will cause him when I die and have already caused him

fatigue

Fatigue and my aches and pains

Fatigue, Dental loss, Time away from my children.

Fatigue, lonliness

FDA and drug companies' hoax that there is hope for a cure.

fear

Fear - having no control over it

Fear and Helplessness, loss of control over life

fear for the future

fear it instills in me as a caregiver for spouse

FEAR IT, dont know what to expect

Fear of dying;my children being traumatized;it seems it is everywhere now - an epidemic

Fear of it coming back, constant doctors appts.

fear of the unknown

Fear of the unknown and how it affects my loved ones

Fear stays with you always

Fear that it will return and deformity

fear, waiting, pain... I hate it all!

Feeling alone and scared

Feeling as if IT controls my life

feeling bad about being scared

feeling dependent on people and also causing worry to friends and family

Feeling Helpless

Feeling like a victim

Feeling nauseous after chemo.

Feeling not in control

Feeling of helplessness

Feeling of helpness

Feeling powerless, like I have little control over what happens to me.

Feeling scared and in pain

Feeling sick, CT/Pet Scans

Feeling so weak and unable to do the things I used to do...the slightest avtivity drains me.

feeling tired

Fevers and Fatigue

Financial, Inconvenience, Anxiety

First thought was being sick from chemo!

Friends are frightened away

gaining weight

Getting Chemo through my veins in my hands! ouch.

Getting sick after chemo

Getting that sick and horrible feeling after chemo

Had to go through chemo and burning radiation. Fatigue when working.

hair loss

Hair Loss....it's just a constant reminder that something is wrong.

Hair loss; bone pain

Has stopped me from doing things I enjoy.Made to many changes in my normal routine.

Hate feeds cancer. I do not welcome it in my life.

having family see me sick for a long time

Having it

Having it!!

Having it, living with it, seeing how it hurts my husband, can't remember a darn thing because of "chemo brain".

Having it.

Having life in limbo, losing hair, feeling awful, taking pills, changing taste buds

Having limits placed on my life for the time being.

Having no eyebrows to express my angst

having only one eye

Having to depend so much on others

Having to involve others - causing worry on those I love

Having to miss a lot of class.

Having to put my life on hold

having to slow down my life

having to take a semester of of college to stay at home for treatments

Having to think about several times a day. All the reminders!

Health illnesses, diseases post treatment

Hearing "I don't know" from my Dr.

Heh...too many to count. Read my blog. If cornered for an answer, I'd have to say the stinking, never-ending fatigue that the doctors insisted there was no reason for and therefore didn't exist.

Helplessness when I am a fixer

Her Mom died of it, and I'm afraid of losing her to it!

Hosting it

How alone it makes you feel

How easily it consumes your life... I hate being a victim of life (VOL)

How fast this can change your life,there's no real breaks that you can hit to stop it!

How fast your life can be turned upside down.

How hard it is on my friends and family

How hard it is to get rid of.

How I have been treated by some family and friends. I'm not dead.

How isolated it makes you feel. And how it changes every single aspect of your life.

how it affects my children

How it affects my family

How it affects those around me

How it can destroy everyone in its wake, if you let it.

how it can just pop up whenever in life and rule it

how it can sneak up on anyone and having a time limit.

How it can take hold of everything you thought was normal in your life and just not wanna let go!

how it can take over your mind.

How it causes such pain.

how it changed me

How it changes how people feel about you

How it changes your life completely.

How it changes your life in a split second.

How it consumes your life immediately

how it deteriorates family and finances

How it disrupts my life!!!!!!

How it effect my family!

How it effects my family and my son.

How it effects the people around me.

How it effects your family and friends

How it has changed how I feel about ME!

How it has impacted my life in so many different ways.

How it has put my goals on hold.

how it hurts my loved ones ,the pain I see in there faces........

How it hurts soooo many people!

How it impacts my little girls. It robs us of our loved ones, time, and energy.

How it interferes with me and my loved ones lives

How it made me so un-recognizable even to myself. I lost me for a minute...I could just not be me because it took over my life!

How it makes me feel physically and emotionally

How it makes you feel it's your fault. Makes you feel dirty and ugly

How it puts the one's we love through hell.

How it rules my life and manipulates my emotions, also how I can't sing anymore

How it scares my kids

How it sneaks up on you

HOW IT SUCKS LIFE AND HOPE OUT OF PEOPLE

How it takes over your every waking moment

How it takes over your life and how it keeps coming back

How it takes over your life.

How it throws a cape over my shoulders that lets everyone feel pity or scared that I'm going to go bald or die or both

How it took the life out of my husband

How it turns people's life upside down

How it turns your life upside down. How it makes you think that you have to stop moving forward in life.

How it's completely torn my entire life to pieces. So much to when I return a year or two from now, I wont be able to put it back together.

How it's debilitated my body

How its changed my life

how just the word messes with your mind

HOW LONG IT HAS TAKEN TO DIAGNOIS IT, AND THAT IT IS RARE AND UNCUREABLE

How many children fight cancer and so little money of given to find a cure for pediatric cancers

How many lives it can hurt

how many lives it takes every year....

How many people it touches.

How much controll it has.

How much it affects those who love me

how much it still remains stigmatized, especially for anal cancer

how much of an impact it has on my loved ones.

How my illness caused my son pain.

How myself and my family constantly worry about my cancer!

How others perceive it.

How people just feel sorry for you!

How quickly it invades and takes over your body and spirit

how quickly my life changed,literally in one day

how sad people are when they find out

How scary it is...

how sneaky it is

How some are not treatable

How stressed it makes my family.

how unpredictabe it is...

how unpredictable it is

Hurt..And Death

I am always tired

I am limited to activities with friends and family.when i push myself to do things they do i become very sick

I can't control this.

I can't eat!

I can't forget that it is with me every day

I can't seem to plan for the future

I cannot hate something that has made me feel the life within me.

I don't hate the cancer, I hate that it took the cancer for me to begin living.

I don't have time for this! I need to make quilts for my grandchildren.

I don't know how to KILL IT.

I don't know yet

I dont hate it anymore

I feel like a black cloud is following me around but I don't want to give it that control.

I feel like a marked woman!

I feel like my life stopped and the timer is going to go off at any minute!

I feel sorry for others, who feel sorry for me. I truely hate that "pity" look in their eyes.

I feel that my life is at a halt. I am unable to truly live my life until this bump-in-the-road passes.

I feel that precautionary chemo (side effects) has robbed me of a functional, normal life that I once had with family & friends!

I feel violated

I had to retire from a job I loved

I hate being on chemotherapy and my family suffuring along with me

I hate CANCER

I hate chemo

I hate everything about cancer

I hate everything about cancer.

I hate EVERYTHING about cancer. Most of all my emotional upheaval I think.

I hate everything the deals with cancer

I hate eveything about it equally.

I hate how cancer has disrupted my life and the lives of those around me.

I hate it bacuse its going to kill him and it just killed my best friend july 2010

I hate not being with Silas all the time and I hate that it is interfering with our life together. I hate that it happened for no reason at all. It's like a bad dream.

I hate that cancer even exists.

I hate that cancer is a thief of time.

I hate that I feel it controls my life. I have to be dependent on others, and I'm usually very independent. Also, it can be just plain scary.

I hate that it hurts so many people

I hate that my mom has had to suffer. My entire life she has been so strong and to see her at her in so much pain is just not fair!

I hate that the treatment is as bad as the disease

I hate that word

i hate the fact that my life some days feels like it gets put on hold. I hate the side effects from radiation and medicine. i hate not living a simple normal life and that things i loved doing i am not able to do.

I hate the sense of loss of control over my own existence

I hate the way it has effected my family!

I hate the way it makes me fear symptoms.

I have already lost too any people in my life to cancer. I do not want to see cancer take one more life.

I have always been extremely healthy Why Me?

I have it, my partner's had it, my dog died from it, and know I have it again (only different kind)

I have no control over it.

I have no control over my own body.

I have NO control!!!!!!!

I have no energy, the doctors all say something different

I have to change my unhealthy but comfortable lifestyle and the way people pity me and treat me differently

I let it take over my life. trying to change that........

I lost a year of doing what I want to do

i lost both my mom and sister to it

I lost my beautiful hair

I MISS MY DAD.......AND THEIR IS A CURE!!!

I thought it was losing my hair now I don't know

I want my old life back.

I was tiered all the time.

i will tell you

I'm afraid I'm going to die...

I'm newly dx my fear is not knowing what is yet to come....

I'm not able to do many things with my family

I'm so tired

I'm still in Denial

Inability to plan a day, week or month in advance... each day differs depending on fatigue, symptoms and adverse reactions to medications

interrupts life

involve so many people as well as little children

Is how barbaric it is to treat. You'd think in 2010 in all the research we could combat it better than we do.

Is never feeling safe.

is that it alway take the once u love away and the pain that they go throu

It affects ALL your friends and loved ones ...

It attacks children

It attacks every fiber of your being, SICK OF BEING SICK You lose control over your Life, Do as the Dr. says, your at his mercy.

It can happen to anyone

It can hit anybody at any time.

It can hit anyone at anytime

It can kill us and it hurts.

It can leave you feeling powerless.

it can make you feel so helpless.

It can steal your confidence in daily activities

It causes more pain to my mom and family

It changed my life the second I found out.

IT CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE

it changed the course of my life

It Changed who my mother was.

It changes EVERYTHING in and around you.

it changes from day to day but the brain one scares me most

It claims the life's of the Young and the Old

It comes back...sometimes

It controls my life, and it worries my family.

It could be from food we eat everyday :(

it destroys both people and there femilies

It destroys lives

It does not discriminate; It's a mental battle as well physical

It doesn't care who or what you are

It doesn't just taint bodies, it can taint moments, memories, futures.

It effects my memory. My father was killed in a car wreck five years ago. He raised me on his own. Sadly, now I am forget so many great memories that we created together. My new brain cancer has made it where I can barely walk because of my right leg and I can't use my right arm.

It effects so many that you love

It effects tooooo many good people

It feeds the FEAR in your mind that encourages despair.

It gets in the way of everything

It happens to good people, and it comes back sometimes..

It happens to good people. It can raise it ugley head any where it wants

It has been hard on my family emotionally, and financially

It has destroyed our family!

It has no cure and is painful.

It has stolen a PART of my future

It has stolen my vision of my future.

it has taken away my family and friend

It has taken my husband's intellect and our special chemistry

It has taken my husband's personality and my sense of humor

It has taken over my life.

It has taken so many loved ones from me

it has taken time away from my daughter and ruined my self image

it has torn my family apart. i keep wanting to find someone to blame for her condition. but there is no one to blame. i sometimes blame god for doing this to us. my faith is really being tested.

It has torn our family apart - & we let it.

It haunts you forever

It hurts like a mother.

It hurts!

It hurts.

it infinges on your life in every way.

It interrupted my life and my ability to plan.

It is a lonely road.

It is a nightmare you can't wake up from

It is a parasitic demon intent on sucking the life out of me!!!!

It is a thief

It is disruptive and friends don't understand what they can or can't do to help.

It is hard on the family - especially with teenage kids who want to have a normal family.

it is killing me

It is life-changing - nothing will ever be the same again.

It is not fair. It does not matter if you are a mother, a father, a daughter, sibling.

It is ruthless & random.

It is silent

It is silent but can be deadly

It is sneaky - I'm a picture of health and have never missed an annual exam.

It is taking my soulmate from me.

It is taking over my life

It is the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning.

It isn't welcome in my body!

It just crept up on me and tried to take my life!

It just killed her. No time for fundraising or even a surgery. In a blink of an eye she was gone.

It just plain sucks

It just sucks!

It keeps me from doing for others.

It killed my brother who was 16 and took my mom also.

it kills

It kills at random...without explanation, without mercy, and without regard to how beautiful, loving, or caring a victim can be...

It knocks you down when you think you are at your best

It made me incapacitated and a burden to my loved ones

It made my children cry.

It made my loved ones sad

It makes dramatic changes

It makes me feel helpless at times!

It makes me feel less of a women

It makes my family cry.

It makes my family worry about me!

It makes my loved ones cry.

It makes you doubt about any future in life

It makes you feel like something inside is dying.

it never lets you go

It only takes ,it never gives.

It returns without warning, so you never relax

It rips you out of your normal daily life and there's nothing you can do about that. Helplessly observing the "healthy" people pursuing their life is pretty hard if you're tied to your bed.

It robs, destroys, and demands to be killed or kill

It scares everyone. Paperwork.

it seems to affect the people that deserve it the least

It srikes out of the blue and can hit anyone.

it steals life

it steals life!

It steals my energy

It steals time, pride and faith.

It stops you before you ever realize it.

it sucks

It takes all your strength from you and makes you so fragile

It takes away your certainty & your dreams about your future. Probaly infertility is also devastating to deal with.

It takes lives

It takes over everything

It takes you by surprise and no one is exempt from this party

It takes your loved ones away from you.

It tears your world apart. It's a horrible disease.

It threatens to leave my children to grow up without their mother.

It took away 3 years of my life.....

it took away my feeling that I was invincible

It took me away from my home and loved ones. It gives me a label as "the sick girl" instead of just Lexi. Also the pain it put myself and my loved ones through.

It took my mom; The constant anxiety and fear of things beyond my control getting worse for my mom when she was alive.

It took my mother away from me.

It totally changed my life!

it tries its best to bring you down

It tries to control your life

It tries to take over not just your life but everyone around you.

It tries to win, but i'm not going to let it

it trys to steal your joy,peace,&happiness

It will change your life, and quality of life Dramaticely

It will not leave my wife and I alone!

It will take whatever it wants.

It won't go away permanently

It won. Doctors don't incorporate a multi-disciplinary approach to treatment

It's a constant distraction

It's a monster.

It's a murderer

It's a pain in the arse

It's abilities

It's ability to rob a person of their Independence and Security.

It's attempt to steal my peace of mind

It's debilitating and uncurable

it's frightening.

It's horrible to watch it's effects on people you love

It's inconveniences.

It's interfering with stuff I have to do....and I'm mad. I don't have time for this

It's just rude

it's like a bomb is dropped on your family.

It's not biased....

It's ordinary symptoms

It's really scary.

it's scary

It's silence and ugliness

It's sneaks up on you and has it's own agenda.

It's so expensive: monetarily, physically, and emotionally.

It's so sneaky....just lying in wait....

It's so sneaky: absolutely no one is immune

It's taken away from my early 20s

It's taken too many friends of mine

It's taking my sister away.

It's terrifying

It's the unwanted gift that keeps on giving

It's unpredictable.

It's very existence

Its ability to override the body's normal apoptosis function and the fact that pancreatic cancer is very difficult to diagnose in the early stages

Its affects the whole family.

its aking me away from my babies

Its can strike ANYONE at ANY TIME!

its effects on my family and friends - the concern and sadness they feel for me

Its growing and a person doesn't know it

its makes me feel strange

Its psychological and emotional grip on my family & friends

Its relentlessness

its rise in icidence

its scary, and upsets my family.

Its sneakiness, how fast it strikes without you knowing about it.

Its sneaky.

its sooooooooo common and unaware

its strikes when you least know it

Its taking time out of my life

Its the gift that keeps on giving!

Just a "pain in the ass"

Just about all of it but loosing my sense of tastes it really hurts.

Just about everything and even the name it's self makes me sick!

Just diagnosed so all the unknown that makes the mind just roam places it shouldn't!

Just having it

Just having it and people not understanding what your going thru

Just that is the unknown, and to many people of all ages are getting it.

Just the name says "death" when it doesn't have to.

Keeps you guessing always

Kills good people

Knowing that I lost my brother and then my dad to cancer. And haveing to watch my mom go through it again with yet another member of her family. I see her fear and keep telling her I am ok.

Knowing that it could come back anytime.

lack of a definitive cure

lack of control, tiredness

Lack of energy and extreme weakness

Lack of scientific knowledge and understanding of cancer

Leaving my daughter and Husband behind!

leaving my husband behind..

Lethargy

Lethargy and weakness

Life will never be the same

lifechanging event you are unprepared for

Living in Fear of it's return

living in limbo

Long term effects

Loosing Control of life and helplessness.

loosing your hair =/

Losing all control.

losing control of my body

Losing control of my life

Losing friends

Losing loved ones.

Losing my appetite and always thinking that every change in my body could be another cancer.

losing my breast and estrogen, that there is no cure, loss of sex drive

Losing my good memory

Losing my hair

Losing my hair and breast and living in constant fear

losing my hair, my identity and the Chemobrain

losing my independence

losing my sight

Losing my strength and I am angry at how weak I now feel.

Losing sense of taste; dry mouth; pain

losing the innocent assumption that i'll be alive for another seventy years

Loss of control and what it does to my love ones.

Loss of control in my life

Loss of Control in Your Life-Having to depend on others

loss of control of my life

Loss of control of what I thought was normal.

Loss of endurance and being able to run

loss of hair

Loss of my independence.

Loss of strength and stamina

Lung Cancer: The time between diagnosis and end of life. We need MUCH MORE time for patients than current treatments provide.

Mainly its effect on me, but the trickle down effect on those who love me.

Makes people suffer and takes away your love ones

Making my family and friends worry.

Med Side Effects

Missing the beautiful people that it took away in my life!

Mouth Sores

My 3 year old has to suffer...

My cancer has changed every aspect of my life

My emotional instability

my energy level is very low, i've had some mood swings and live style changes including financial and not working for the last four months

my family having to deal with it

My family worred about me

My fiance broke under the pressure and left me while I was in the hospital recovering from colostomy

My life is on hold and i'm tired of being sick

My loved one sufer so much and I could not do anything on behalf of them

My loved ones not surviving it

My salivary glands don't work as well

my stomach

My time away from family!

Neuropathy - I now walk with a walker and electric wheelchair

Never being able to take a normal BM

Never knowing if it is really gone

never knowing, in my case, when it will get worse, and the fear

Never thought it could hit our family!

no actual cure

No control of my body, my life, my emotions. Lost my identity - now just cancer victim

No control, not sure if what I feel is what I should feel with the chemo

No Cure

no one is safe

Non-productive time, time away from family and friends

Not as much energy, side effects of drugs, people treating me differently.

Not as much research/fundraising for anal cancer, which is growing in the US. And not enough doctors are educated regarding the impact of good nutrition before, during and after cancer treatment.

Not being able to be active with my family.

Not being able to be normal

Not being able to do everything I used to do

Not being able to go back to work

Not being able to make long term plans with son :(

Not being able to run around like I want to

not being able to take the pain away

not being able to work

Not being able to work, and not being around everyone. Giving up my self control.

Not Being In Control

not being in control of my life

not being in control-im a control freak

Not being ME

not being normal

Not getting to see friends and family

not haveing energy to do thing with my kids

Not having any idea what I'm about to go through. Found out two weeks ago I had stage 4 cancer in the throat. One week ago had the tonsills removed. Told me about the 10-14 day recovery time but had no idea what a life stopping event it would turn out to be,

Not having control

Not having enough energy

Not having Hair

not having the strength or energy to still work or do much of anything else

not in control

Not knowing

Not knowing how its all going to work out

Not knowing how long I have to live

Not knowing how long I've had it!

Not knowing if I will see my next birthday

not knowing if it is gone

Not knowing if it will come back.

Not knowing if treatment is working

not knowing if you are going to live past the next treatment

Not knowing the outcome

not knowing the outcome of treatments

Not knowing what is ahead for me and the battle

not knowing what is gonna happen

Not knowing what is next, or what questions to ask

Not knowing what the future holds for you.

Not knowing what will happen.

not knowing what's gonna happen next. And the pain. And being sick.

Not knowing whats going to happen next

Not knowing when I'll die.

Not knowing when it will rear its ugly head

Not only having to worry about actually having Cancer, but also with all the stress involved with still trying to financially support my family.

Not only it's assault your spirit, but on those that love you.

not so much the cancer, just the cost for treatment

Not sure yet, it's all still a black hole.

not understanding what is happening

Nothing

Now 1 out of 2....unless you do some preventative maintainence

Now I cant work walk.

Now I'm not just me, I'm forever a "survivor" just one more label.

oh so many things probably shouldn't even go there;)

Oh, everything

Oh, it's hard to pick just one thing. I'm gonna say all of it.

Our future is uncertain.

Overwhelming, Painful

Overwhelming.

Pain

Pain and death

pain and the constant fighting to survive

Pain, Loss

Pain, uncertainty, loss of focus, fear, fear, fear.

pain,scared of losing my family and living

People don't know how to talk to me anymore

people feeling sorry for me

People forget who you were before cancer. Now you are "Cancer"

People not being able to enjoy the things they used to enjoy...among 1000 other things.

People thinking I might die.

People's reactions

Possibly loosing my mother to cancer and loosing my father to my mothers death

Pretty much everything...

probably the waiting-til things get done and til it is all gone and than the healing process

Putting loved ones through the hurt and pain, not knowing the future!

Reassuring friends/family I will be ok

robs my dignity

robs the energy from your body

Robs you of time and good health.

Sad faces!

saps my energy

Scheduling my life around my treatments

Seeing children fighting cancer .Seeing other patients sad

Seeing kids with the disease.

Seeing my kids faces

Seeing the fear my teenage daughter tries to hide, and seeing others having to go through it

Seeing your loved one suffer, and being helpless to do anything about it...

seems like too quickly it has become my identity

seriously

Shaving my head!

she hates losing her hair

Shitting in my bed and all over bathroom.

Should have never done chemotherapy and radiation therapy

should i list just one thing????

side effects

side effects during and after

Silent Killer

So far? That it picked me!!

so far? wearing the 5FU pump for 46 hours

Sometimes it gets the youngsters

Spirit strong, body not!

Stealing my time, my career, my love life, and my mental well being.

still has a stigma

Stole my thunder.

stolen time - having to tell my sons i don't feel well enough to do anything with them.

Stopped my life in its tracks and put everything on hold.

stress

sucking my energy away from me

surgery and the mask

Surving is a full-time job.

Taken my freedom away

Taking friends away from us

Tamoxifen

Tears families apart and detroys hope

Telling friends and family - I don't want them to worry about me.

Telling my family

telling my father who is in prison

That a cure for ALL has not yet been achieved.

That a Cure has NOT BEEN FOUND !

That affects more than just me.

That babies get it.

that cancer has a mind of its own, and how it loves to alter peoples lives.

That constant knot in your gut

That even when you beat it you may still be looking over your shoulder for it to come back.

That good people have to suffer so much...

That hospitals and clinics can add so much to the folks who are already suffering!

That I am allowing it to control my life.

that i beat it once and that it keeps coming back

That I cannot make it better, that I cannot make it go away. I must have help and the help may hurt me and perhaps may not help.

That I could have prevented it.

That I don;t have control of my own life

That I have it

that I have it, which means my children could get it, simply because they are genetically mine!

That I have it. Was looking forward to growing old with my husband.

That I Have No Control and I am a Control Freak

That I now have a new "normal." That the word cancer will always be attached to me for the rest of my life.

That I want to plan my future

that i wont see my young daughter grow into a woman

That I'm SO tired I can't do what I'm used to doing

That I'm stuck in one place.

That is has taken the innocence of everyday life away. Everytime I get sick, I think the cancer is back.

That is makes you tired!

That is started out small and grew so big in 2 weeks that my lumpectomy was cancelled and I had to go thru chemo and radiation first to prepare now for mastectomy

That is steals the peace, hope and too often the lives of so many wonderful, sweet and giving people who don't deserve it.

that it affects everyone NOT just me

That it affects my family just as much as it does me...it stealls too much from too many!!

That it can have a mind of it's own

That it can sneek up on you and steal your life.

That it comes in takes over every aspect of your life!

That it consumes my life; everything is about my cancer.

That it consumes your thoughts

That it controls my life. I hate that I am still in pain almost 3 weeks after my diagnosis. I don't want to lose my hair....I already gave up both my breast, now I have to give up the only thing left feminine about me...my long hair.

that it could take my life away from me

that it could take years away from my life with the family I love so much

That it doesn't matter who it affects young or old

That it effects EVERYONE

That it exists

That it happened to me.

That it happens to good people

that it has and continues to consume my hero, my friend, my mate

That it has attacked my innocent 8 yr old daughter and theres not a damn thing I can do about it.

That it has the NERVE to keep coming back!

That it has the potential to destroy you !

that it hurts a family

That it hurts everyone around it.......

That it is always in the back of your mind.

That it is always lurking in the shadows and lingering in my cells.

That it is in me....

That it is stealing precious memories and time with loved ones.

That it keeps coming back like a bad breakup.

That it keeps me from my beloved children.

that it killed my father.

That it kills many people

That it kills.

That it makes my kids afraid for me. How it altered me and my life forever. The fact that I'll always be looking over my shoulder for it.

That it makes you so dependent on others for everyday things.

That it robbed me of my Family and my nephew of his Mother

That it scares my loved ones.

That it scares the hell out of me

That it seems to affect everyone.

That it so silent & hurts the people I love most.

That it stole my Dad

That it stole my soul

THAT IT TAKES THE ONES I LOVE

That it took my Gemma and so many wonderful people.

That it took my Mother!

That it took my once healthy husband and destroyed him.

That it took my one and only daughter

That it took my one true love, my Brent!

That it took so long to diagnose

That it's in me.

That it's so scary

That its changes everyones lives...

That loved one's have to hurt so bad as they die from it

That my 3 and 7 year old daughters are emotionally involved in this fight

That my family has to suffer through this with me.

That my husband has it

That my Husband of 49 years has it

That my mom doesn't laugh anymore.

That ovarian is called the "silent killer"...

That people pity/feel sad for me as apposed to trusting me and the strength I have to navigate this world.

That so many of us let it beat us.

That some people don't survive it.

that the ama leads us to believe they are they only way

That the odds against winning are just not fair

That the treatment available in the United States is so debilitating and provides no cure.

That there are no definates

That there is always a chance for RELAPSE

That there is more questions than answer!!!

that there is no cure

That there is no going back to BC (before cancer).

That there is still no cure.

That they have not found a cure ? Yet.....

That treatment aged me quicker at least 10 years.

That what I used to think is every day is not any more

That your life is placed in someone else's hands.

That's a toss up; 1) the treatment which hasn't progressed beyond torture, 2) the fear it paralyzes people with.

The "Mommy Time" that it has stolen from my children!

The 'surprise attack' nature of the disease

the after effects

The aftermath of the chemo.

The beautiful people it takes from our lives

The black cloud over my head

The boredom...

The burden and worry it's caused for the people I love.

The Changes it forces on us

The Chemo

The cloud that hangs over you

The constant unknowns

the control it has over my life

The curve ball

The deception of the disease

The destruction of our preconceived hopes and dreams. Also, that has to be so painful.

The devastation it brought to our lives and my body, especially radiation treatment, as I have fibromyalgia.

The devestation

The Doctors

The Down Time, I am so ready to Rock Again!

The effect it has on my loved ones

The effect it is having on my children and family

the effect on my loved ones

The effects on the kids, the fear

The effing treatment and the sad eye

The emotional roller coaster

The emotional toll it has on my mom

The End!

The fact that I am not in control

The fact that I can't get my strength back yet...

the fact that i can't punch it in the face.

The fact that I don't know what's going to happen next.

The fact that I have it!

The fact that I may not see my kids grow up

The fact that it exists

The fact that it just puts a stop to your life, kinda puts you on hold

The fact that it's something I cannot control, no matter how hard I fight it

The fact that our kids know that recently we lost my uncle to cancer only to know that now their father has tumor. Seeing how worried and scared that makes them sometimes and praying I'm saying the right things to help them through this too.

The fatigue

The fatique and weakness, plus the fear I might lose the battle before my grandchildren get older.

The Fear

The fear & pain in invokes

The fear and anxiety it's causing my family.

The fear and not knowing enough about what the results of therapy will be

The fear and pain that makes living the life we have such a challenge

The fear I see in the eyes of the people I love.

The fear it causes in me

The fear it instills

the fear it puts in people

The fear of every single bump, cold, bruise, pain will somehow turn out to be somewhere else in my body. It's like an ugly monster and I feel like I am constantly looking over my shoulder.

The fear of it returning

The fear of it traveling thruout my body.

the fear of lossing my dad

The fear of recurrance.

The fear of recurrence

The fear of something happening to me and not being there for my children.

The fear of the unknown

The fear that it brings along with it.

The fear! And even though I have wonderful loving people to support me I still feel so incredibly alone sometimes!

The fear, the unknown, the waiting

The feeling of being fine mentally but trapped phsyically.

the feeling of being out of control of my life

The feeling of invasion to my body

The feeling of it multiplying without my control.

The feeling of not knowing

The feeling of utter helplessness as you watch someone you love in the fight of their life with cancer.

The feeling that my body could be my own worst enemy

The feeling that my body has betrayed me, and the uncertainty.

The feeling that your life is getting sucked out of you

the hate

The helplessness and the thought that I might not be there for my family

The helplessness I feel. The unknown. The sick feeling in my stomach.

The helplessness you feel

the hopelesness in the begining

The hurt it brings to everyone and how it can be sneaky.

The hurt this disease causes both physically and emotionally

The image it caries and the cure

The impact it has had on so many aspects of my life, good and bad, other than just my health.

The inconvenience and the cost

The lack of knowledge people have about their alternative options.

the limits on my activities and lifestyle, not to mention expenses

The lives and/or quality of lives it takes from people.

The lives it ruins

The look in my children's eyes......

the look on my family's face when they found out.

The loss of control over my body

The loss of control.

The loss of friends

The loss of hope but fight that feeling

The losses of my future and a good deal of my present.

The mets to the bone worry me. The pain.

the mind-devils

The moments when I relive the fact that I have it.

The name

The nausea, diahrea and IV infusions

the not being able to drive.

The not knowing

The not knowing of what was going to happen next.

The not knowing!

The not knowing.............

The not knowing;pain;head fog & falling down!

The overwhelming fear

The pain and fear on the faces of my loved ones.

the pain and running to the doctors.

the pain and suffering

The pain and suffering it brings

the pain and suffering it causes loved ones

The pain and tiredness.

The pain I've inflicted on my family

The pain it causes loved ones

the pain it causes my family

the pain it causes my loved ones

The pain it is putting my mother through

The PAIN my son goes through

The Pain to Other people around You

The pain, fear that i may not win the battle.

The painful procedures that it involves and that it puts your whole life on hold.

the paperwork

the physical change that my body has endured

the possibility of not meeting/knowing my future grandchildren

the power of the word cancer

The randomness of who it strikes.

the red bag

The restrictions and being called a guy when I'm a girl

The screenings and the continual diagnosis (on my 4th)

The shock the diagnosis and the wait for surgeries.

the side effects and feeling that life just isnt normal

The side effects and how expensive it is

The side effects during the therapy like hair loss, chemo brain, nausea and vomitting.

The side effects of the area affected.

The side effects of the therapy

the side effects, being moody around my family, being in denial, questioning if everything is clean, being given the "pity" look

The steroids make you gain weight

the stigma attached to rectal cancer

The stress associated with my mom having a life threatening disease that I can't do anything about!

The stress it put on my family especially my rocks Chris and Jessica they are the reason Im fighting to stay alive

The struggle in yourself for hope.

The suffering

The suffering it causes

The suffering it causes the person going through it.

The surgeries

The things I miss out on.

The thought of it.

the thought of leaving 3 children in this world, without a mom, and 2 without a dad

the thought of losing my mom..this isnt fair!!!!

The thought of not being around to raise my kids, and that they have to go through this.

The thoughts that invade and steal my life away.

The threat that it will take me from my children.

the time it is stealing

The time it steals away from me and my kids

The time it takes away from me being with my beautiful twins!!

the time it takes out of life for surgeries, treatments, appointments, etc!

the time it takes to deterimine if a treatment will work

The toll that the therapy takes on the patient

The treatments

The treatments can be brutal

The treatments make you feel worse than the disease at times.

The true meaning of the word pain.

The uncertain future

The uncertainness of a future with my family and my ability to provide for them.

The uncertainty

the uncertainty and the limitations

The uncertainty of wether or not it is cured.

The uncertainty of what lies next

The uncertainty that it brings

The uncertainty. I wish I knew if I will have a recurrence or not.

the uncontrolable sadness in the morning times just as i wake up.

The underlining ignorance in Corporate America.

The unexpected journey in the beginning

The unknow

The unknow pain my mom is about to endure

The Unknown

The unknown and the pain.

the unknown of it, and the waiting in between appointments

the unknown that preoccupies my mind, surrounded by so many but feeling ultimately alone in my journey

the unknown timeline

The unknown yet to come.

The unknown, waiting for the results

The unknown. It's also made 2010 my least favorite year so far.

The unknown...

the unknowns

The violent way it has invaded my life

The waiting

the waiting and not knowing

The waiting and wondering, and the worry that causes me and my loved ones.

the waiting game dx 11/25/09 cant see surgeon until 12/15/09

The waiting, not knowing, length of time between appointments...

THE WAY IT BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME

The way it changes one's life.

The way it changes your life instantly

The way it deteriorates the body.

The way it has changed my ability to physically interact with my little boy.

The way it has made me a different person

The way it interrupts LIFE

The way it is creeps up on me and slaps me round the face when I least expect it.

The way it just appears in your life and changes everything

The way it makes my family feel

The way it makes u feel.

The way it takes over your life and the uncertainty uncertainty that goes with it

The way it tries to steal my everyday life: the fear, the exhaustion, all the crap.

the way it turns your world completely upside down

The way it's disrupting my life, and the pain it is causing to people I care about.

The Way Leukemia Isolates Me From People

The ways it changes your family; continued sense of loss

The whole thing

The word

The word "cancer"

The word itself

The worry and stress that it has caused my family.

the worry of not been there for my babies

the wounds,the war,the what ifs!

There are so many ways the devious thing keeps escaping

There is no cure

There is nothing that I like about cancer itself. I hope we find a cure and I pray it will be a kind one.

There seems to be a stigma surrounding this...

There's no cure

There's No Cure!

There's no guarantee cure.

There's not enough room

They all suck

They tell you you can't have kids after chemo.

they way it changes a family for the worst

They way it sneaks up on you!

Thinking about my mortality. Pain. This isn't what I had in mind when I wanted to be different from everyone..

Thinking it will come back

This is only the beginning-I will answer this question later

This is soooo inconvenient! And the "cancer face" you get from other people

This type is not well known by the general medical community. By the time there is a noticable neck mass, it has already moved to stage 4.

Thought of losing my hair

time.

times that feelings of helplessness pop up

Tired all the time, weight gain.

tiredeness

tireness, loss of desire to excersize,

to me cancer feels like an intruder that takes what you love the most

to not be here for husband and kids

TO SEE A PERSON U CARE ABOUT SUFFERING

To see the sadness in my loved ones' eyes, and the empty chairs in the treatment room

To think everyday that you have one day less to spend with the family.

To watch people you love slowly deteriorate

Too many people are affected and hurt by this horrible monster.

Too many people have been diagnosed with it.

too many things

Too many unknowns to my questions

Too many unkowns, seems like endless variables.

Too many wasted days

Treatment

treatments

Trying to find the pony in the mounds of horseshit.

uncertain future

Uncertainty

uncertainty, waiting, and in my case, permanant reliance on medication (synthroid)

unknown

Unpredictable

Vomiting and pain

waiting

Waiting and not knowing what is going to happen next.

Waiting between steps of the process, results slow, hard to get appointments.

Waiting for it to progress, there is nothing i can do yet.

Waiting for results and finding out the next steps.

WAITING FOR TEST RESULTS UNNECCESSARILY-learned that i csan pick up test result at medical records rather than wait for doctors

Waiting for test results!!

Waiting Test Results

waiting......

Was that I ignored the tumor for as long as I did.

watching how it destroys your body and weakens a person so much!

Watching it suck the life out of my mother

Watching my kids having to deal with it, youngest is 14,and is terrified

Watching my mother suffer and not being able to do anything about it

Watching someone wonderful suffering

Watching someone you love suffer.

watching the "Beast" gain momentum as my mother loses strength

Watching your loved one deteriorate and there is nothing you can do to alleviate the pain

weight gain

Weight gain,hair loss, depression

Well meaning people telling me the horrors of their relative's side effects that I should get ready to experience

Well, I don't like to use the word "hate," but what's most difficult for me regarding cancer is the waiting -- for anything to do with treatment.

What Cancer has done to my Family

What i hate is the toll that it puts on my family and friends

What I hate most about cancer is not knowing if it will return or not!

What I hate the most is the PAIN involved (back, hips, legs, and ribs)

What is has stolen from my family

What isn't there to hate?

what it did to my family

What it does to individuals and their families....

What it does to my family

What it does to ones body, and family,

What it does to the family around me.

What it does to you mentally and emotionally

what it does to your body....invasion

What it has taken from me

What it is doing to me is beyond my control

What it is doing to my husband

what it stole from me

What it takes from the person physically

What it's done to my parents.

What it's done to others around me.

what it's soing to my g/f and me, the in pack to her family and our future

what's not to hate

what's not to hate? Although at this point, I now see my leukemia as a blessing...but that took time.

What's to like!

whats there to like

When I see children with it.

When people find out you have cancer and you see the look on their face,.

When people we know die

Where and who can help me regain my life. I hate to be in the situation im currently in.

Where did my life go?

why is it here?

wondering if it will come back

worry about a return or other cancer & lack of health insurance.

Worrying about it coming back!

Worrying about leaving you kids and family

Worrying about the people worrying about me.

Worrying my family and friends

Worrying that every headache is a brain tumor

You can't hide from it

You get it physically, but your entire family is diagnosed with it emotionally.

you have no control

You never feel Your body is rid of it

you never know when it will hit you

You... you still have to go to work?!

Your brain never turns off, and of course the waiting game is the worst part, waiting for surgery waiting for test results.

Your friends forget who you are and think only about the fact that you have cancer

Your life is put on hold and all the changes you have to make.

Your life makes a complete 180 degree turn and nothing is the same after that.

~IT TAKES THE ONES WE LOVE SO MUCH~

What Cancer Fighters Hate About Cancer